Unwavering: Becoming the Kind of Human That a Horse Would Be Drawn Toward. Is it possible to call a horse to you by thought alone? If so, it would be the ultimate in ‘Horse Whispering’. It seems that this IS possible but that it’s not enough to just cultivate the right thoughts. It seems to have more to do with changing your whole state of being; your mind, body and yes even your spirit. This evening, as a special treat, Sue and I took our horses, Jo and Loki to the central grass reservation that has been formed by our track system. It’s two acres of overgrown pasture. The horses are seldom allowed in there as too much fresh grass can be problematic for horses. Jo loved it! She trotted along happily, exploring the whole area until she found the perfect spot and was then soon eating with her head hidden by the long grass. Only 10 mins later we had an urgent need to move the horses off the grass because we needed to deal with a delivery. Typically, when Jo has her head down, eating in that paddock, she would ignore any attempts to recall her — the lure of this paddock has always been just too great. When I first got Jo in 2004, she was a rather aloof character. When I came out with the halter and rope, she would initially watch me but as I approached, she would turn her head away and as I got closer, she would slowly walk away. I found this most discouraging but didn’t know any better but to persist and follow her until she relented to having the halter put on. It never took long. She complied but she was never entirely willing. It was almost a game and it certainly became an habitual routine. I noted it but didn’t know what to do about it, so I just accepted it. In 2009, I had some training in liberty from Inge Larsson Smith and then Honza Blaha and I soon developed a strong draw with Jo and some good liberty skills. Sometime later, I introduced treats into our sessions and this made a huge difference to Jo’s enthusiasm.

However, over time it became clear to me that this ’strong draw’ was very variable when in a large, open field. Sometimes she would draw from great distances and would be looking to do so as soon as I appeared. Other times, it was like recalling a Terrier dog from play or hunting; the only communication I got was the equivalent of, “But I’m busy right now…”. I realised that some, if not all, of this variability was probably caused by me. After all, our state of being is a huge ‘variable’ for the horse to contend with. Once again, I did not know what to do about this and so, having noted it, I put the issue to one side. I found that if I used treats and got very, very inventive and created new and highly varied puzzles for Jo to solve, she became engaged and enthusiastic. She liked being involved in new things but could easily get bored when activities were repeated. She would still comply — but she was not engaged — not fully present, as it were. To be honest, the task of inventing ever more intriguing activities, whilst initially fascinating and stimulating, eventually became exhausting. The tasks and the treats had created a great deal of motivation in Jo, which was pretty remarkable for a horse that was originally so aloof and reluctant but I felt something important was missing. I realised that I had an underlying desire for her to want to do these things, and to do them with me. When she didn’t, the hard truth was that she did not want to be with me. So I decided to stop putting Jo and me in that situation and decided instead to seek to develop our relationship further. One trainer me told me that Jo was a true Lead Mare and would only respect and cooperate with me if I could develop the same qualities as a Lead Mare. She pointed out that I often adopted a passive approach and that Jo was subtly running rings around me. She was right on both those counts so I followed the instruction and Jo most certainly DID respond to that kind of Leadership. But I came to question whether this kind of Leadership really suited me. Was I being asked to become something I was not? I think I recognised intuitively that I wanted to become the kind of human who has the qualities that most horses would ‘be drawn toward’. This seemed to me to have a very different ‘feel’ associated with it compared to the types of leadership that I had seen to date.

I want to repeat that phrase once more; ‘be drawn toward’. Consider how very different it is for you to ‘be drawn toward’ something, as opposed to being made or even just asked to do something, however politely it is put. In a horse training context, imagine how it might feel to be politely asked — but to then have that request ‘reinforced’. Whether that reinforcement is carried out in a Positive (+R) or Negative (-R) method, consider how different that feels from ‘being drawn toward’ something naturally. But is it even possible to cause a horse to ‘be drawn toward’ you? It seemed at the very least to be idealistic or fanciful, perhaps even magical! Most methods of Horsemanship recognise that having the horse want to be with you and interact with you is THE essential and fundamental ingredient but few, if any, give details about how to achieve this. And it seemed that those few people that do have this essential quality usually struggle to teach it.

So I sought out the few teachers who do attempt to teach this aspect. Noora Ehnqvist, who trained with Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling, taught me the importance of seeking authenticity in myself; of seeking to gain a sense of my own true self; by being present in the moment and by opening my heart in the very real and practical sense of expressing love to my horse. A great lesson I learned from Noora was that we don’t have to change into something different; something we are not. We just have to reveal more of who we truly are. I came to realise that seeking to merely emulate someone else, however charismatic or skilful they are, will only result in you being, at best, a pale copy of that person; that authenticity is about finding and expressing our own uniqueness; and that our unique self sits below the layers of defence and protection that life experience has triggered and anchored in us. The exciting thing was that this meant that everything I needed, everything I was looking for was WITHIN me. It seemed all I had to do was to reveal myself, my core self, to my horse, for her to ‘be drawn toward’ me. I had no idea how to do that but strangely, I found this all very reassuring! This whole perspective resonated deeply with me. It seems that we need to connect with our true self before we can (easily and directly) connect to our horses. And the way to connect to our true selves is through our body. Noora’s approach, common amongst many teachers advocating authenticity as the essence of how to connect to horses, is to develop an increasing level of Body Awareness. Consciously bringing our awareness to our body calms the mind. And after all, it is the mind that has erected our layers of defence and protection in the first place. This process also pretty much describes ‘Mindfulness’ which is currently so much in vogue more generally in society.

In September, I was attending an Aikido seminar where I met an extraordinary American teacher (Sensei) called Paul Linden whom I had been very keen to meet ever since I heard him speak in an Aikido podcast. The subject of the podcast and this seminar was, ‘Peace Making’. In Aikido, we reconcile violent situations on the dojo mat using martial art skills. The subject of this seminar was how to transfer the principles of Aikido to social, domestic and work situations outside the dojo and in a non-martial way. One of the wonderful gifts that Paul has to share with the world is a simple, quick procedure in body awareness that creates the presence, peace, joy and love mentioned above. Further, he can demonstrate that this state creates more alignment, better balance and postural strength in the body. The procedure works by training the body to do the exact opposite of what it does under stress: Postural alignment is re-established, awareness is widened rather than focused, core muscles are consciously relaxed, breathing is regulated, we embody compassion by recalling those we truly love and we extend this love outwardly (in stressful states we tend to contract and narrow both our focus and our energy). Paul Linden found this last stage difficult to teach until he came across the idea of asking students to ‘Shine like a star’.

So tonight, as I walked into the central paddock to fetch Jo, I was able to apply Linden Sensei’s technique quietly, quickly and easily as I walked into the field. In this state I am authentic. I am present. I have awareness of my true self. This is not a state of inward focus and isolation but one of connection both inside AND out. I feel connected inside to my true self and, at the same time, to my environment; I am aware of the feel of the wind, the light and colours in the sky, the crunch of the grass beneath my feet and the birdsong. I do not call Jo to me, I do not even ‘ask’ her. Instead, I have merely the lightest of thoughts floating in my awareness — that I am open for her to come to me. I certainly do not use a body cue. I have no stick or string to ‘reinforce’ anything. Tonight I remain present and, perhaps for the first time, I am willing to respect Jo’s autonomy; her freedom to choose. If she comes to me, it will be her own idea.

So, I extend my awareness to my horse……and she continues to eat grass, seemingly ignoring me! But I remain resolute Unwavering, I *know*, I can sense, That she ‘feels’ me.

I remain present

And I suddenly remember

The final step of Paul Linden’s procedure;

So I ‘Shine Like a Star’.

And at this exact point,

Jo lifts her head,

Looks straight at me,

Ears pricked, head low.

Full of gratitude,

I silently thank her.

And suddenly she runs

Runs like the wind

Straight

To

Me

The draw is straight, she reaches canter, her ears remain pricked and I *know* that this is no ‘startle’ response! This is curiosity and anticipation, engagement and delight. In some unprovable, unscientific manner, I just know I am feeling what she feels. Jo comes to a halt directly in front of me. She lowers her head and gently places it on my abdomen,

And we are as one. Both at peace, happy and full of joy, we bask in that long, slow moment of The Now. It is only as I emerge from that reverie that it slowly dawns on me that I have just had one of the most beautiful experiences in my whole horsemanship journey. I then suddenly realise that I have no treats for Jo. And just as immediately, I know that this is not about treats, and that Jo has chosen, of her own volition, to be with me. And it feels very much like coming home.

Steve Miller, October 2016